Seventh Sponsor Meeting (Final One)

On Tuesday, I went to go visit my sponsor, Mr. Barna, for the very last time. When I arrived, I had my camera in hand, ready to take pictures of my sponsor for my little "slide show" for my presentation. But when I got there he wasn't around! Mr. Barna had disappeared and no one in the office knew where he went! He was like a ninja or something because no one knew when he left of where he went. I was kind of upset but I didn't let that faze me to much, I had work to do. Ms. Rearick helped me out, setting me up in my usual spot so I could type up my article. The only problem I came across was that I didn't know whether Mr. Barna wanted me to write my article in my own personal experience with preparing for prom or from my experiences through school and prom committee. I mean, I interviewed teachers like Maggi and Ms. Schmid about prom related things and I didn't even put it in my article. I still did it though, it's just about my own personal experience though, so there are no interviews present in it. But when I started, I had no clue how to start my article. I asked Ms. Rearick, and she seemed just as confused as I was, so she pulled up previous articles so I could get an idea. It really helped me a lot, and when I did it, it seemed like I was writing an opening paragraph for a paper. I typed it up and I had Ms. Rearick look over it, and she told me that I didn't have to send it in right away, but that I could look over it and then send it in. Then after I finished and printed it out, I took pictures of Ms. Rearick and Mr. Jim Six, and of my little "work space". I had really hoped while I was there, Mr. Barna would mysteriously show up but he didn't, so Mr. Jim, who is a really cool guy, sent me a picture of Mr. Barna. Then I left, waving my final goodbyes to Ms. Rearick and Mr. Jim, regretting the fact that I couldn't have met them sooner, and I left the Gloucester County Times for the last time. I wish I could've found them earlier than April but it can't be helped. I'm glad that Sam found them, if she hadn't I wouldn't have met such nice people. They made my experience with Senior Project and Journalism worthwhile.

A Thinking Quote (Part 1)

"Friendship is like a popsicle on two sticks, when the friendship breaks, so does the popsicle, making everything a mess"------Anonymous

Today I witnessed something kind of heartbreaking. It was two friends, who was friends for so long, get into a major argument that probably ended everything between them. I may not be correct because I am an outsider looking in, but from my point of view it seems as though it won't be the final argument, but it is the last thread that tied them together. It was probably over something as trivial as a rumor but it struck deep into both of their hearts and pitted them against one another. Now I'm not saying but I'm right, and I don't know exactly what is going one, and I possibly will never know, but I'm just saying that it's always upsetting to see two close friends end a friendship. To see them be in the same room and not acknowledge each other, or to see them arguing whether it's face-to-face or one the phone. Ever since I've known them, I always thought that they were the best of friends, doing everything together, always having fun with each other, never needing anyone else outside the four of them. But now, two of them are breaking it off and the other two are stuck in the middle. And this quote is perfect for the situation I'm describing because the conflict going on, their whole friendship is turning into a mess. It's just so sad because whenever I saw them before now, they were always laughing, joking and hanging out, doing what normal best friends do, but now I see them ignoring each other's entire being. And I can see the struggle of it, trying to ignore the person you've been friends with so long and you're both angry with one another. It breaks my heart because I know what they're going through because I've been through it before, probably everyone has, but my problem was solved and now we're still going strong with our friendship, even though she moved away. I just hope that the situation turns out okay, and that they can continue to be the best of friends and if it doesn't, I just hope they don't go off hating each other. So I'll end off with this quote:

"The friendship that can cease has never been real." - Saint Jerome

Getting Cleared for Softball

Early this morning, I went to my doctor's appointment to get a check up for my shoulder. It was scheduled for 9:10 am so I decided to go to school after my appointment. When I got there, I had to pay my $15 co-pay, which I didn't have anyway so my grandma paid, and then like 2 minutes later, I got called in. I sat on those cot-bed things and waited until Dr. Daniels got done with his other patient. When he finally came over to me, he asked me various questions pertaining to my shoulder, like if it still hurts, or have I done anything softball-related with it, so on and so forth. Then after I answered the questions, he made me do exercises to check out my shoulder and see if it is strong enough to continue playing. Then he asked me about my medication, the Advil I'm supposed to be taking twice-a-day, and told me to cut it down to once-a-day. Then he said that me shoulder was good, but the only bad news he said was that I'd have to wait until next week to play! It was because I hadn't been doing anything for two weeks because my coaches and the trainer wouldn't let me! He said that athletes that get hurt usually have to wait a few days before they get back into the mix. I wanted to cry! And I kind of did because my eyes started to tear up and he saw that and asked if I was about to cry. I nodded and he felt bad and said that if my shoulder didn't hurt then I'd be able to play tomorrow for the game against West Deptford. I was soo happy! Happy enough to want to give him a hug but I decided against it. I was just excited because now I can play the rest of the season, even though we only have a few games left, which sucks because I really wanted to play hard for my last year. But it can't be helped now, I'm just glad that I can finally play. But now I don't think that I'll be playing because of the weather. It's raining cats and dogs out there, but hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to play.

Sixth Sponsor Meeting

Yesterday I went to meet up with my sponsor again, but this time I had to get dropped off because I couldn't get the car. My grandma came and picked me up yesterday around 12:30 because I had wanted to eat so I asked her to get me at 12:30 instead of 12 o'clock. When she dropped me off, she stayed in the area because I told her I'd only be there for about an hour and a half. I got there and Ms. Rearick didn't have anything for me to do, so she asked me to look up topics that are talked about amongst teenagers. While I was looking up topics, which were very repetitive by-the-way because it was all the same thing, my eyes started getting blurry and my eyelids were drooping. I tried to stay awake, seeing as though I didn't want my sponsor to see me asleep, but eventually I drifted off. But during the whole hour and a half, I kept drifting in and out, not really focusing on the computer screen anymore seeing as though I was trying to stay awake. One time, I think I actually did fall asleep and I jumped, I was wide awake and alert. I didn't know how long I fell asleep but I felt a small burst of energy, so I refocused on my assignment. But when I told Ms. Rearick that I couldn't find anything, she told me that I could leave since there was nothing to do. So I decided to call my grandma and tell her that I was done. The first two times, my grandma didn't pick up, and I hung up and waited for a bit. While I was calling her, Ms. Rearick left, saying that she'd see me next week, but I didn't tell her that I wouldn't be there because of the trip. But I tried to call my grandma three mores times, and as they say "third times the charm" and on the last try, she answered and said that she was right out front. So, I left waving goodbye to Mr. Barna and left.

Slumdog Millionaire

Over the weekend I finally saw Slumdog Millionaire, the story about a young boy who answers every question right on India's version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire and becomes famous for it. 18-year-old Jamal Malik, the main character, goes on Who Wants to be a Millionaire because he wants his longtime friend and love interest, Latika, to watch him. Every question that had been asked on the show, Jamal got right because during his life, he experienced a lot of things that helped him answer the questions. Every significant event in his life, whether it was a happy one or a tragic one, most of those questions pertained to his life somehow. Throughout the movie, he retold his story to the police, he had gotten locked up because they thought he cheated, going back to the times in which he gains the knowledge of the questions asked of him on the show. For example, one question asked him who was one the American $100 bill, and it flashed back to a time when he was younger, and he had seen an old friend of his, who had became blind due to a gangster's selfishness. He had given the bill to the boy, and the boy, Arvind, asked him to describe the man on the front. When Jamal described him, Arvind told him that is was Benjamin Franklin, giving Jamal the answer which he used later in life. Slumdog Millionaire is a sad story, Jamal loves all that he loves to corrupt India, but he overcomes his obstacles, he finds the girl he loves after losing her twice, and he wins a million dollars. Slumdog Millionaire is those one-in-a-kind movies that are a must-see and I'm glad that all the actors were people no one knew because it made the story more real and it set this movie apart from the rest of them. I really liked it and I thought it was so good that I could watch it more than a few times and still be hooked.

Senior Trip!!!

Senior Trip is finally upon us! I'm getting really excited about the trip, especially after I've stressed about it since the beginning of the school year. Yesterday I went shopping for the trip, getting shorts and shirts so I won't be sweating the whole time I'm there. The shorts I got are really cute, and even though the shirts are plain, they still look cute with my shorts. With the trip coming up, I'm not really going to be focused on anything school related but I'm going to "try", not really. I'm getting money as well before the trip, which makes my spending money expand. I'm getting $18 from Maggi because I never got my Senior class shirt, which still makes me mad because I wasted money on something I never got. But I'm getting my money back because the senior trip shirts are free already, so I'm getting money and a shirt. Only Craig and I are getting money back though, so don't get all jealous because I didn't receive a shirt. Anyways, I'm going to start packing over the weekend, so that way I'll know what I have and don't have and I'll be more prepared. Next week, we leave on the 12th, around 1:30 pm, so we won't be in our last two classes of the day. That whole week I'm going to have as much fun as I can because this will be the first time I'm going to Disney World, so I'm super excited. I totally cannot wait!

Fifth Sponsor Meeting

Yesterday I went to go see Mr. Barna and Ms. Rearick for my fifth official meeting. Last week I couldn't go because Mr. Levitan came down from New York to tell us about our presentations. When I got there I told Ms. Rearick about my answers from one of the advisors, that I had gotten right before I left the school. My handwriting looked like chicken scratch because I was interviewing Maggi instead of Hoopes because I knew Maggi had more experience with prom organizing (and because I didn't have time to look for Hoopes). Maggi had given me really good answers that could help give my article more 'umph', so I was really glad that I had decided to interview Maggi instead. Ms. Rearick said that my hasty handwriting was fine because she knows from experience how it is to get down every single word that a person is saying. I remember her saying something about shorthand but I couldn't really make out what she said. She also asked me when my prom was and when I told her, she said that it could be a problem because it's so late (it's May 29). She told me that I could write my article in my p.o.v. but it would have to wait until after my prom and it would be in a column (which is soo cool!). When she found my notes on the computer, which is conveniently named "Prom Notes", I had gotten right to work with typing up my answers. While I was doing that, Mr. Barna had to leave because of some emergency, which I believe it was a family one but I'm not too sure on that. After I got finished, there wasn't anything left for me to do since Mr. Barna had left and didn't give me anymore instructions to continue on with my progress, so Ms. Rearick said I could leave, so I did. I still need to interview a student about prom, but I'm trying to think of a student that I don't talk to much that had gone to prom before, instead of asking the juniors. It's going to be a little tough but I can manage.

To The Beach!

This past weekend, I went to Wildwood beach with the Softball team, the manager TJ, and Sam. We had decided to go in the middle of last week, and made plans with everyone to go if we didn't have practice on Saturday, which we didn't luckily. So we all met up at the Super Wawa on the White Horse Pike at left once everyone had gotten something to eat and some gas. I was in the car with Aliccia, so we were the first car leading the way, and when we were on the highway we left Jamie and Natalie way behind us! It was so crazy because Aliccia said she was driving "slow" which wasn't very slow at all but they finally caught up to us and we were all on our way (together) to the beach. When we got there we had a lot of fun. We played football and named our different teams. My team, or better yet Sam's team because she was captain, we named ourselves K.I.D.S, which stands for Keep It Deadly Son (or whatever other word that sounds cool and starts with an S). Aliccia's team was called The Untouchables, which was true because they didn't catch the ball at all. We stayed there for a while longer, waiting for Tina, Kasey and Ashley, who was still in Lindenwold because Tina had a job fair. A little while later, these college guys from La Salle University, came to the beach and we kind of hung out with them for a while until Ron and them came. Finally Tina and the others had came and when they got there, we were starting to pack up and leave! It was getting cold along the beach and so we all got redressed and took pictures to give to Maggi for the senior thing. After that we had packed up and left after exchanging goodbyes with our friends. I had a lot of fun that day and I'm glad that I went with them.

Old Childhood Memories

Today, all of my friends brought in old pictures from the Middle School years and the Elementary School years and it was soo hilarious! I've seen people in my first grade and second grade classes that I did even know was in there! Like Bosh and Sam P, people that I thought I met in like eighth grade, but in truth I've known them for like all of my life, which really surprises me. It was so funny seeing people that look so mature and older now, and see them as young kids. For example, Bob DiClementi, seeing him in first grade, with his big glasses and pointy ears! He looked like a little goblin but in an adorable way. Danny Mitchell, I've known him for a while so it wasn't as surprising but he still looked soo cute as a little boy. The ones who brought in the pictures was Abby and Bonvincent and even Saraphina brought in pictures from middle school with her. I, myself, brought in pictures from freshman year, when Mrs. Bubb's class went to DC on that English trip, and two pictures from my first sleepover. In one of them, Quiana was there and she looked so much smaller from how she is now, and younger of course. Her boobs were still bigger than the average fourth grader but they aren't as big as they are now. Haha. It's just so weird seeing everyone so young when they look completely different from how they looked then but still the same now. I called everyone I saw "baby" whoever, because of the fact that they were so young but we were all so cute at that age! When we were reminiscing I kind of wanted to go back to those days when everything was so much more simpler and we didn't have very many worries except for the "deadly cooties", which weren't very deadly at all. But now that I think about it, even though I miss them I'm glad that I went through everything that I did and learned from them. I know that I'll always have these memories but it's time to make more new and exciting ones in the future.

Mr. Levitan's Visit

Two days ago, Mr. Levitan and his companion Mr. Paul, came to our school to tell us more about the end-of-the-year presentation regarding our projects. They told us to be prepared by studying and practicing with our mentors before our presentations, gather as much data as we can, and to catch up on our blogs/journals as soon as possible. They told us to start figuring out what we are going to say during our presentations because we have to fill at least a 45 minute spot. The only problem is is that I'm afraid I won't be able to get as much stuff to take up 45 minutes. I could probably only take up at least 25 minutes to a half an hour just by saying everything I went through during this time. But now that I think about it, I could probably fill up that hour by focusing on my journey to get where I am. They said that we could focus on two main categories, so if I focus on my journey and my progress with becoming a better writer, I could probably take up the whole hour and have to need more time. I could take pictures and show them to everyone, tell them of my failure of as a fiction writer at the moment but then tell them how I was enlightened with the discovery of the joys of journalism. Anything! I'm kind of scared to do this presentation, or that I might not have enough material to fill an hour, but I'm going to try my hardest.

Fourth Sponsor Meeting

Last week, when I went to go see my sponsor, I received a bit of a surprise when I arrived there. The woman, whose seat I was occupying, finally came back to work after about two weeks of being M.I.A. Her name was Kristie Rearick, and she was the head of the "Prom" department. We were introduced, and Mr. Barna told me that Ms. Rearick would help me out if I needed it. However, the angle that I was going for, which was Prom Weekend, came to an end when Mr. Barna wanted me to start focusing on the cost angle of proms. He wanted me to find out the total costs of proms, and if proms were more a business instead of a fun thing. I was to come up with questions to ask and call a lady from the Delsea School District and ask her questions about ow Delsea's prom is, where it is located, how much did it cost them, how many tickets do they sell, etc. And surprisingly they were good questions and I received really good answers. I was told to also ask one of the people in charge of my prom and I decided on Hoopes because she is my first period teacher. And I had to ask a student about how much did/will they spend on prom, which includes hair, nails, transportation, dresses, shoes, tuxes, tickets, everything that comes with prom. I'm a little bit more excited to write this article each day.

Letter To Mrs. Carroll

Dear Mrs. Carroll,

As the end of the school year quickly approaches, the pressure of choosing a project for Senior Project has rained down upon us. Many of the students in the class have chosen a project that has reflected their time spent observing and getting hands-on experience during those times. My own project, however, does not reflect the time spent with my sponsor because I do not have the same amount of experience as the others do. I have just found my sponsor, only about 4 weeks ago, and I do not have much experience with the journalism world. However, my project is a written one, given to me by my sponsor, but I decided to use it as a product of my project, if that makes much sense. I am going to write an article, given to me by my sponsor, about Prom. He gave me this assignment, told me to choose an angle, and the angle I’ve decided to go for is the cost of Prom. There isn’t much visual details that will make you awed but I hope that my writing skills will be good enough to make the English teachers cry with joy. My project is unique and separate from the others because it is a written project, and it helps me improve my writing abilities as well as my problem with deadlines. This will fit into my presentation because I will be spending my time at a newspaper office, honing my skills as a writer, and I will accomplish something I’ve never thought of doing before. I never wanted to be a journalist, thinking that the things that they write about wasn’t for me, but the more time I spend there, the more I get excited about writing this article, and the more I start to feel that journalism might be for me.

When I complete this project, I will come out with better writing skills and more appreciative of deadlines. I hope to learn how to write better by being around those who love to write just as much as I do. I have already started my research for the project, interviewing fellow high school students about their experiences and thoughts on Prom Weekend. My sponsor, who is the editor, will be the main person helping me do my project. I still have my mentor helping me, and some of the journalists who work there, helping me as well, so I feel that this article should be a good one. I anticipate very few obstacles in my way because I have so many people helping me do my project. But I feel as though, I, myself, will be the main obstacle in my finishing of the project, but with a lot of help, I will get it done.

Sincerely,
Brionna Bell-Scotton

Third Sponsor Meeting

Yesterday, I went to go see Mr. Barna earlier than usual because I had an away game, or so I thought but I found out that it was changed to home because of the boys' field. I really got a move on my prom research, as I finish contacting the schools, expect Woodbury, who did not answer the phone, and I started thinking of questions to ask the students about prom. I came up with a few good ones that would help me out with the actual writing of the article, but I still have to show Mr. Barna and see if he approves of my questions. If he doesn't, I hope he can help me with making up good interviewing questions that'll help my research. There wasn't much going on during my time there because I was only there for an hour and 15 minutes, but there was a technical problem when I first got there. The phone, where I was located, wasn't working! I mean, come on phone! I kind of freaked out, and I thought that my mind was just playing tricks but it wasn't. The phone really was not working. I told Mr. Barna and he came over to check it as well, and when it was confirmed, he went over to the tech guys, I'm assuming, and he said they'll check it out. So, I had to use the phone in the cubical next to the one I was in. I found out that one of the schools, Gloucester County Technical School, does not have proms! What is that?! I mean, I'd be very upset if our school didn't have a prom. Proms are supposed to be a special night, where the students can be mature and elegant but have a lot of fun at the same time. I feel sorry for them, they're missing out on a once-in-a-lifetime high school event that really means something.

My Favorite Poem

A free bird leaps on the back of the wind
and floats downstream till the current ends
and dips his wing in the orange suns rays and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks down his narrow cage
can seldom see through his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.

---Maya Angelou
"I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings"

This poem by Maya Angelou is probably the only poem that I really like. I don't know why I like it so much, but I do. You know how you like something or dislike something so much and you never know why? Well, this is how I feel when it comes to this poem. Maya Angelou is such an influential poet and writer, and all of her poems have a deep meaning to them, but this one, it really cuts the cake. This blog is just a spur of the moment-type blog, but it means something to me none-the-less. Whenever I think of this poem, an unrecognizable feeling overwhelms me and I cannot stop my mind from thinking about it. It's kind of like a love feeling but not love, because my heart beats faster thinking about and reading this poem but it's not the love-type of heart beats. This feeling is so queer that it scares me, but I'm not afraid of it, instead I embrace it. It's weird, I know, but I'm a weird person and this strange feeling is a part of me and I'm okay with it. My thoughts are so jumbled right now but it's all focused on one thing.

Remembering Emmitt Till

Today in history class, we watched a movie on the brutal murder of Emmitt Till, a 14-year-old boy who was visiting his family in Money, Mississippi, for the first time. He was a northern boy from Chicago, who didn't understand the rules and regulations of the South, and he had "whistled" or said "bye baby" to a young white woman in a grocery store, as he was walking out of the store. He had only did it as a dare given to him from the local boys, but he didn't know that the dare would cost him his life. Two days later, Emmitt was kidnapped from his home, held hostage at gunpoint from two white men, one was the husband of the woman in the store (Bryant), and the other her brother-in-law (Milam). Then two days after that, Emmitt Till was found in the Tallahatchie River, with a cotton gin fan tied around his neck with barbed wire. His face and body was so mangled that they couldn't even recognize him, except for the ring on his finger with his initials on it. During the two days that he was missing, Emmitt was tortured in Milam's barn then they drove him to the river, told him to undress, and then shot him in the head. When Emmitt was found, he had his right eye missing, no teeth, a gun shot wound on the side of his head, and a broken nose. His body was shipped up north to his mother, Mamie Till, where she held an open-casket funeral, so the world could see what they had done to her son. It was horrible, his face was so disgusting to look at, it looked like he was bloated from being in the water, his skin looked stretched out and black, his lips looked like burnt fish lips, it was just too disgusting. And it was so sad because he was just a kid, visiting his family for the first time, and he was killed because of a dare. The men, Milam and Bryant, were the main suspects and were sent to court for the murder of Emmitt. However, the prosecution did not have enough good evidence to send the men to jail, and the jury was all white, so the men were acquitted. Then a few months later, the men committed to the crime and told a magazine that they had actually killed the boy, but the police couldn't do anything about it because the men couldn't be tried for the same thing, so there was no justice for the death of Emmitt Till. But karma crept up on the men who murdered him because in 1981, Milam died of cancer and in 1994, Bryant died of cancer too. It's sad when a boy's murderers are acquitted and are allowed to go on living their lives happily while he had barely begun his and it ended too early.

First picture: Emmitt and his mother
Second picture: Emmitt in his casket, unrecognizable

Second Sponsor Meeting

Yesterday I went to go see my sponsor again. When I got there, Mr. Barna, introduced me to a female worker named Kalya, and told me first thing to start writing about Prom. He gave me many ideas, in which I could write about, but he said that I'd be a better candidate to write about Proms because I'm going to one. He said that it'd be better because I'm experiencing high school now and I'd have a better perspective. I decided to write about Prom Weekend and what students do after prom. He told Kayla to give me a computer and help get me started on my new topic, and gave me a booklet of all the schools in the Gloucester County area. I was really excited because it was my first real meeting and I was already assigned a topic to write about. So, when I was seated at a computer, I got started right away, calling many high schools like Paulsboro, Woodbury, Kingsway, and Williamstown, and asked the secretaries when the proms were. It was kind of boring to say the least, but I guess in the long run it'll be worth it. Mr. Barna asked me to find that information out because he wanted a side column with all the schools' prom dates in it, so either way I'd have to do it. Some schools didn't even answer the phone and others had these confusing machines where I didn't understand which button to push. But it's okay, when I go back again next Tuesday, I'll finish what I started and possibly get started on interviewing fellow high school students who're planning on going down to Wildwood for Prom Weekend.

Frustrating Topics

This research paper is getting really frustrating for me, and I know that I'm not the only one. My research topic is a hard one to get sources for because it isn't something that is a common topic when it comes to research. Topics like the fashion world, photography, cooking, therapy, whether it's art or physical, they're much easier topics than one about the Meiji Era. It's really getting to me when I'm trying to find good sources on my topic and I have to pull a tooth out just to get a semi-decent one. So far, I have two good sources for my research topic, but the paper is due on Wednesday, and I don't have enough sources for my paper. The paper has to be six pages long with at least six sources, and I only have two. I just told my teacher, and he said that he would try to find me some, but I don't think it'll be that easy to get four more sources. I tried looking on Gale and EBSCO but I can't find anything really good. I'm still going to try and find stuff, like I'm going to the library today and do some more research, but I think it'll still be a piece of work. Ugh, after this paper is done and over with, I never want to do another research paper until I have to. I'll be soooo glad when Wednesday passes, but at least I don't have to read it out loud to the whole class.

Meeting My Sponsor For The First Time

So yesterday I finally went to go meet my new sponsor. At first it was kind of difficult because I had just found out that I had a scrimmage the same day, the day before at practice. And at this my priorities were torn because I had been anticipating with meeting my sponsor at last, but also I haven't played in a scrimmage yet and I was losing valuable playing time. So, I decided that I wasn't going to meet with my sponsor and go to the game when Mr. Abrams had told me that Senior Project was number one right now because of my grade in the class. And he was right, but I was still really upset about it because I really wanted to play but I couldn't because I had to leave. So when my mom came to get me around 4 o'clock, she drove me to Woodbury and we discussed how I'm going to get there every week. So I went in to meet my sponsor, Mr. Barna, who is friendly and approachable and I cannot wait to meet him again next week. When we talked, we discussed when we are to meet, which is every Tuesday at 1:30 pm, and he'll hand me off to someone in the office to work with to get the different hands-on experiences. And he told me that later on he'll even give me a story or two to write about! I'm really excited about doing this even though Journalism isn't the way I want to go, but I can give it a chance of course. And who knows, maybe I'll come to like being a Journalist and it'll become my chosen career path. But after the meeting, my mother and I continued our conversation and she said that she'll let me have the car every Tuesday so I can go see Mr. Barna, but I have to wake up early. :( But it's fine, and she said to remind her this weekend so she can show me a fast and easy way to get to Broad Street in Woodbury (and to get home). Again, I can't wait to go next week and finally get the Senior Project experience that I'm supposed to have.

I Finally Got A Sponsor!

Last Friday, March 20, 2009, I finally got myself a sponsor. Thanks to the ever helpful Sam Messner, one of my besties, found my new sponsor, Mr. John Barna, the editor of the Gloucester County Times. I emailed him earlier last week and when I didn't get an email back, I called him on Friday to see if he was in. He told me that he received my email and was just about to respond when I called him. He said that he's eager to meet me and hopes to meet me soon so that way I can meet everyone in the office. He gave me two possible days that we could meet, Tuesday or Wednesday, because on Thursdays he is busy with meetings and things like that. Today I emailed him saying that Wednesday is good and I hope to be able to see him soon. I'm really excited about getting a sponsor, especially after not having one for so long. Now when everyone else blogs about seeing their sponsors, I can blog about my experiences as well instead of feeling like I'm falling behind. I cannot wait until Wednesday when I go to meet Mr. Barna for the first time and having my very first sponsor meeting. I hope that everything will work out now, especially after waiting for this for a while now. Wish me luck!

The Prologue

Being the only child of a noble family is never fun. Especially if you're the daughter of a noble family. As a noble, and as a young woman, you're always expected to be polite, quiet, and act as a lady. When around men, you only speak when spoken to, nod your head to make it look like you're listening, and smile. It gets really tiring when you do it day after day. As the only child, and as a female, you're also expected to find a good husband. One who is rich, of a good family, and handsome.

Yes, all those attributes are fine and well, but none of those include kindness, compassion, or love. I have always dreamed to marry for love like my favorite, and only, aunt Tsukiyomi (sue-kee-om-ee), but only the lucky girls marry for love. My mother, however, was not so lucky. My grandparents married my mother off to the highest bidder because they were in debt and because she's the oldest. After that, they were more lenient on Tsukiyomi, which made my mother very angry.

My mother, Yue (you-ay), who is a very beautiful woman, was just sixteen when she got married. A young nobleman, my father, named Kyoshiro Kite (kee-yo-shear-ro kee-tay), was the son of a feudal lord in Edo. He had seen my mother when she was out in the supermarket with her mother shopping for fish. My father, just turned twenty, told me that he fell in love with my mother at first sight. He said that he "had to possess her [beauty]." I had always believed in love at first sight because of that statement. However, the reality of that love story was different than what was said. In reality, my mother was in love with a local boy in her small village, but her parents did not approve.

She had tried to elope with him, but they found out and had the boy executed. My mother was still grieving over her loss, when my father came along. She did not love my father, she didn't even like him, when he asked for her hand. My father, and like many others, only wanted her beauty, not her heart. My grandparents, however, did not care and accepted him as their future son-in-law. A week later, my parents were married and my mother was forever stuck in a loveless marriage.

My father, after he had finally possessed my mother's beauty, had treated her like dirt, only showing kindness when he was showing her off. My mother began to hate my father and her parents because of what they had done. She stopped believing in love and accepted her fate as an unloved wife. She grew cold, never showing her emotions and stopped feeling all together.

When I was born, she began to feel again and I became the only thing in her life that mattered. She showed me love and affection, something she, herself, had never experienced. She named me Yuki (you-kee), because she felt that I was as pure as freshly fallen snow. As I grew up, I believed that my family was happy and that my parents were in a love match. I believed that I, too, would find love and live happily like my parents. But I was sadly mistaken and soon realized that I would share the same fate as my mother......

Softball Season

Softball season is here at last! I'm really excited about softball this year because, not only is it my last year as a softball player, but also because I feel like we're going to have a great season this year! I, of course, did not get ready for the season because for one, I'm lazy, and two, I'm lazy. I just didn't feel like going out and running and warming up for the season. I should have though because my whole body is sore! My arm, especially, is really killing me because I was throwing the ball really hard on Saturday, and now I can barely move my arm without it hurting like helllo! But it'll be okay, it's just going to be hard practicing today because I can't really lift my arm without being overwhelmed by pain. So...yeah. I don't know how it's going to work out for me today but I'll have to manage. But yeah, our first scrimmage is this Friday at Kingsway High School, and also this Friday I have the play. So I don't know exactly how that's going to work out, I just hope we'll get back before 5:30 because I have to get hair and make-up done and be ready to go on stage. We'll see how this goes. I can't wait!

Wicked

As you all know, on February 25, 2009, Mrs. Triplo and some of her drama students and teachers, traveled to New York City to go see the hit Broadway play, Wicked. The play was probably one of the best that I have seen, and the singing was better than some of the good singers that aren't in Broadway. The main character, Elphaba, or better known as The Wicked Witch of the West, was played by Nichole Parker, who has a very powerful voice for such a small woman. She did such a phenomenal job as Elphaba, she sang well, and her acting was really good. I absolutely fell in love with the play, so much that I wanted to read the actual book! So when I finally got the chance, which was last week, I talked my mother into buying it for me and I was so stoked to read it. However, when I started the first few pages of the book, I noticed that the play was extremely different from the book. In the play, the townspeople opened up the story and Glinda the Good had told the story of Elphaba's life, but in the book, it started out with Dorothy and the others sitting in a field talking about the witch. At first I was a little confused but I adjusted and kept reading, and the further I got into it, the more I noticed that this book was awesome! The mother who didn't have a name in the play, was Melena in the book, and she was a HOE! I mean, she was a really big hoe, seriously, it was pretty bad. She didn't know how Elphaba became green because she was always passed out from eating these leaves that drugs people. She didn't know if she had cheated on her husband, or if she was raped by elves or some passerby, she didn't even know if Frexspar, her husband and Elphaba's dad, was the father! And then, some stranger came by, a year after Elphaba was born, and his name was Turtle Heart from the Quadling Country, and he became the lover of Melena, even though he was living under her husband's roof! Frex, the husband, didn't even know that his wife was cheating on him, he thought that her "glowing face" was because she was happy. Which she was by-the-way, but for different reasons. Haha! But anyway, the book is really crazy and I can't wait to get back to it, because now I'm on the part where Galinda, before she became Glinda, was on her way to Shiz University. So, yeah, if you're planning on reading the book, after you see the play, you'll be entering a world of adultery, drugs, and the ever mature content..Sex.

My College Experience

Yesterday, I wasn't in school but I was up in Ewing, New Jersey at my first choice college, TCNJ. I was involved with an overnight experience where I stayed with a college student for the night and experienced how college students lived. I stayed with a History major, whose a third year, in her townhouse. Her name is Maurisa Thomas, and she is an Alpha Kappa Alpha, or better known as AKA. Her room, and her friends' rooms, were filled with AKA apparel and they were very pink, with a little green involved, which I liked because green is my favorite color. Since Maurisa and her friends had midterms the next day, and there was nothing going on at campus that night, we stayed in the library. Now I know it sounds really boring, but it surprisingly wasn't. I had a lot of fun with all of her friends, who are all upperclassmen, meaning juniors and seniors in college. They were really interesting people with a lot of personality. Her really funny friends that I met were Doris, a Zeta and a senior, Hazel, a senior who is not involved with sororities, Alana, a fellow AKA and a senior, and Kenyatta, another AKA and senior, she was the funniest. Kenyatta had asked me if I wanted to be in a sorority and when I told what sorority I wanted to be in, which is Delta Sigma Theta by the way, she kindly advised me to rethink my answer. It was pretty funny because after meeting her and getting to know all about AKAs, it kind of makes me want to be one now. Not only because my school doesn't have Delta Sigma Theta sorority, but also because those girls were really cool. I had always thought that AKAs were snobby, light-skinned girls, but after getting to know the AKAs, they're actually really cool and down-to-earth girls. But I bought a hoodie and a pennet with my schools name on it, and I met a lot more people the next day, I visited a college Sex 101 class, which was scary, and I learned all about my future college. That Sex 101 class was pretty interesting, I must say. The topic that day was about contraceptives, like birth control and nuvarings, which is a type of spermicide just non-liquidy. Then the teacher showed a clip of a man getting a vasectomy, and I wanted to puke. It was so nasty! There was so much...stretching and needles and cutting, really disgusting stuff to watch when you're half asleep. I made a bunch of great friends, and although I won't see some of them next year, I'll see Maurisa and the others I've met and I hope I'll have a bunch of fun.

I Heart Animals

Yesterday, I volunteered, finally, at the animal shelter in Voorhees. It was so much fun because I absolutely love animals and my heart always goes out to the animals who're neglected and beaten. So, when I went there yesterday and saw all the animals that were given away, I felt so bad and I wanted to take them all home. The only downside to volunteering at the shelter is because that is the same shelter I had gotten my dog from, and I had to give him back to the shelter five years later. And what made it worse was that there was a dog that looked just like my Handsome, my dog, but his name was Diggy, and I could tell that he wasn't my dog. Anyways, I was only there for a little bit before I had to go and pick up my sister, but when I came back, I went into a room full of adult cats. I fell in love with one, her name was Miranda and she was absolutely adorable! And there was another cat, I didn't find out his name, but he was like an orange Tabby cat, and unfortunately, he was missing a tail! It was horrible and I felt so bad! But I don't think he minded very much, because that didn't stop he playful nature, and boy was he a bad kitty! He attacked my shoe, which I thought was totally cute, and he played with the feather toy-thing with much vigor and gusto. I had so much fun with the animals and I can't wait to go back and volunteer again.

I Don't Know If I Should Have...

Today in my History class, a few of my friends and I were very disruptive during a video about the Korean War. My teacher had asked us to stay quiet and pay attention to the video, or else she'd turn it off and make us do an assignment. But the video, the same one from the day before, was playing the same exact thing we saw the other day, so we were watching the same thing we already saw. I paid attention to the video somewhat, but my mind also strayed a bit because I wasn't interested in a recap of a slightly boring video. So my friends and I were laughing about some of the things, unnoticeable to most in the class, but we were laughing a little too loudly, so we were disrupting the class. Now, I understand I was wrong, and that we deserved to get that assignment that she gave to us, so I wasn't really complaining about it when she shut off the video. She said that we had to write a two page journal entry about what we thought respect meant, but then she changed it to what respect in the classroom meant. So I did the assignment without much complaint, however, at the end of said assignment, I wrote what I thought about that class. I said some pretty harsh things, and before I did, I asked Bonvincent, a classmate of mine, should I write it and he said no. I agreed with him, but when I started to write a finishing paragraph, I wrote my opinions about the class instead. I know that I shouldn't have and some things really are supposed to be left unsaid, but I couldn't help it and I thought, in the back of my mind, that it needed to be said. Was I wrong to write negative things about the class or should I have kept it to myself, but still think those things in my mind and never say them? I'm torn right now because I know that receiving such negative things about how you are running a class is hurtful, especially if you have been teaching for such a long time, but I also know that if you have opinionated students, you should expect criticism. And I did say criticism, not constructive criticism, there is a large difference in those two things.

Wow, The World Today...

Yesterday, after watching both Addams Family movies on channel 29 late last night, a show called The 700 Club came on. I started watching a little bit and the first subject that came on was about a nurse in England, being reinstated to her job, after getting suspended for offering to pray for a patient. As I continued watching, intrigued with the fact that this woman was suspended for her faith, it seems as though she does this with many of her patients. She said that they welcome her prayers, wanting someone to pray for them and help from the good Lord above. It seems that the patients had improved after she prayed for them, and thanked her afterwards. When she asked one of her current patients, they had politely declined and she said that she did not push the suggestion on them. However, the patient, I believe, complained to her supervisor and the supervisor suspended her because there was a prior complaint about it from another time. While the woman was suspended, the Christian League, or whatever it's called, complained to her job, saying that if she were Muslim, she wouldn't have gotten in trouble. They did not like the fact that because she is a Christian, she is susceptible to more trouble with her job, than if she were another religion. They said that if she offers to pray for her patient then that should be acceptable. It wasn't like she was pushing her faith onto the patients, and they accepted her offers before. The nurse is finally back to work and is still asking her patients if they would like her to pray for them, and is still devoted to her faith.

P.S. In the picture, that is the nurse who was suspended.

Is She Serious?!

Today in my AP History class, we were talking about the 1950s and the economy and all that good stuff about American history. Then we started getting into the topic of whites migrating to the suburbs and the blacks and other minorities moving to the inner cities, and our topic went astray. My teacher, whose name I will not mention, started to rant about people not being able to keep the front of their homes well-kept and neighbors complaining about their values going down. And of course it was still pertaining to what we were talking about in history, but she had mentioned black stereotypes and why whites complained about blacks moving into their communities. She said that it was a stereotype that blacks could not keep their homes clean and that's why many of the whites complained about them moving into a house in their neighborhoods. But she also said that whites could not keep their homes nice-looking either, and said that her neighborhood would send letters to that family complaining about it.

So we started to go more into that topic, discussing the exterior images of homes and apartments in poor communities and I said that even if the homes on the outside do not look nice, that doesn't mean that the inside looks crappy as well. She said that may be true but they should still try and pretty their porches. Later into the conversation, she said that families that own homes should make their house look nice, and if they can't then they should not own a home and rent an apartment. How can you tell someone that they shouldn't keep their house and rent an apartment, if they cannot keep its appearance nice? You can't and she seemed to be sprouting nonsense because even though some families cannot make the image better does not mean that they can't keep a house. My mother couldn't keep the appearance of our house up and make it better, but she made sure that her children had a roof over their heads, food in their stomachs, and kept the electric and hot water on. She doesn't get it because she grew up with two parents, in a more affluent community, and she didn't have to experience half the stuff that many less-fortunate families did. She's speaking from ignorance and she needs to shut her mouth because she has no idea what she's talking about.

My First Mentor Meeting

Yesterday I had my first meeting with my mentor, Mr. Roddy. We talked about a lot of stuff having to do with my project and my not-yet-work-in-progress short story. I cannot wait to get started and write it because I've never finished a story before, so I really want to see this through. Also, we looked online to see if there were any books that could help me become a better writer and we found one called Novels and Short Story Writer's Market. It's a handbook that can help aspiring writers to write better and get their work published. Mr. Roddy told me today that his library has that book, even though it's from 2007, and he has asked them to send it to us. And also he wants me to write in two different journals, one for writing about anything and everything, and the other for a character that has a conflict. I have an idea about a young girl around my age in the Meiji Era in Japan, and she has to wed some man that she has never met before. But first I have to research about the Meiji Era and some of the major events that has happened in that time period. It was a really informative meeting and I think we've gotten a lot done considering it was just our first, and when I still have yet to meet up with my sponsor.

My Weekend

My past weekend has been pretty wild but also boring as ever. It started on Friday, when my gym teacher McGriddle, or McGuirl, played the playlist for my friends and I after a week after requesting it. It was a playlist of all rock songs that we liked, and we had just wanted to listen to something other than the music we always listen to in gym. So when he played it, we were all happy and excited because we got to listen to something we had preferred. Now, my school is pretty diverse but it mostly has African-American students in it that all listen to the same music really, so when the rock music started, it was a BIG wake up call to everyone else in gym. Afterwards, when we were in the locker room, I had gotten into an argument with one of my oldest friends from way back, and it was a really stupid one at that. We had gotten into it when she made a comment saying that she'd rather "listen to nothing than listen to that." So I got a little mad because it was just one time that we were probably going to do that, and there's nothing wrong with rock music. I mean I know that we could've made it more diverse for everyone to enjoy, but when we listen to R&B, Rap and Hip-Hop, there's never any rock music, so I said that "not everyone listens to rap music all the time." And then she had gotten angry as well and we started to yell and argue with each other over music! It was really dumb and nothing really important to argue over, nor to strain our friendship over either. I mean, afterwards I knew that it was stupid, and I didn't regret it because I was still mad, but I knew that arguing over something stupid would put a strain on our friendship. So after school, after ignoring each other all day, I got fed up with it and I apologized to her and vice versa, and we made up. I was happy about that because I don't like arguing with my friends at all. Later that night, I went to my friend's house to chill with him and a bunch of my other friends. It was a pretty fun night and we all had a fun time.

The next morning I had to go to work and I felt so sick that morning. It was horrible. I had to go to work like that and I was glad that I only had to work for four hours because I didn't know if I'd be able to make it through the day. When I got home, I just lazed around and watched television with my little sister, and then watched Grease with my sisters before one of them had to go to work. I didn't really do anything interesting on Sunday, except for going to church, but my mom let me use the car, which was great. I had taken my sister to the library, and then we went to go visit my friend, Shayla, who lives in Voorhees, before she went to work and she told me some shocking news. She wants to join the army! I asked her why and she said it's because she's "too stupid for school and college." I said it's because she works too much and she agreed but she also says that if she doesn't work, she won't be able to take care of herself. Her situation is really sad because she lives with her parents, her mom and stepfather, but she has to take care of herself or else she'd starve. I feel bad for her all the time, and my mom has offered to take care of her, but she rejects it because she wouldn't have as much freedom as she has now. It's hard to accept love from someone when you haven't experienced it for a long time. And that's how she is, she wants to live with us but she pushes us away because she's not used to our lifestyle. I feel like I always have to take care of her because she's like a little sister to me, but also because she needs the attention or else she'd find it from someone else in a worse way.

Heartbroken

Why is it that I always lose out? Either it's for a big role in the play, a spot on the team, or with a guy that I really like. It just seems that all the guys I like, never like me back, and just see me as a friend. It hurts when it happens constantly and I always feel like just giving up. I mean you pour your heart out to a guy you really like and it ends up in shreds. It seems my luck with love is all screwed up because all the guys I like don't like me back, and all the guys I don't like, like me. Whenever I like a guy, it never works out because in his mind, I'm a friend and nothing more. All my friends can cheer me up and say "he wasn't good enough for you anyway" but that doesn't answer my question. When will he ever be good enough? Why is it that other girls my age can find someone good enough for them right now but I can't? I'm tired of being heartbroken by the guy I like. I know that everyone has been heartbroken before and I'm not saying that I'm the only one out there. I'm just saying that I'm tired and ready to give up on love at this moment in my life. My mom says that he'll come if I just wait, but how long do I have to wait before he shows up in my life? It's just like in Natasha Bedingfield's song "Soulmate"--

"somebody tell me why I'm on my own

if there's a soulmate for everyone..."

To view lyrics click here:

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/natashabedingfield/soulmate.html

Who Am I?

Who is Brionna Scotton? I have absolutely no idea who I really am. My personality is so complex that I get confused about who I am as a person. I like so many things, listen to many different types of music, preferably punk rock or rock music, like different fashion styles than the rest of my peers, I like different things in general. I know that your adolescent years are supposed to be where you are just finding out who you really are, but when I thought I knew who I was, I became sorely mistaken. I realized that I may never find my true self because I can barely understand what I'm thinking about or doing. I'm so confused as to what I really want to do with my life and it's extremely frustrating. I mean I know who my real friends are but I feel as though they don't know me very well. I mean I like anime and manga, something most teenagers don't even know about, I listen to all types of music but I prefer rock music over rap, I'm into Japanese guys for goodness sake! I feel as though I always have to hide a part of myself because I think that I wouldn't be accepted if I showed everyone all of me. I'm not even happy and hyper all the time like everyone thinks. Sometimes, when I'm alone, I get sad, or depressed or just mellow, and when that happens people ask me what is wrong with me. Even when I'm not sad, and I'm just not smiling they ask what's wrong. Is it so wrong of me to not want to smile for once? Sometimes I just don't feel like it and it makes me angry when people just get one perspective of me. I don't mind all that much if people want to remember me or know me as a happy person, but to only think of me as one it bothers me. I just, I just don't know anything about me anymore and I hate not knowing.

Getting Frustrated...

I'm starting to get really frustrated with this whole Senior Project business. My English class, where I take this course, is having a celebration for the program this Wednesday, and both my mentor and sponsor cannot make it. I'm starting to get annoyed with this program because when the year started, I changed my course of study so it became difficult for me to find a sponsor. At first I emailed a published writer asking her if she could become my sponsor because I had worked with her before, however, it didn't work out to well because she never responded back to me to see if she could. Then about a month later, I found a sponsor, Matt Katz, a journalist who works for the Philadelphia Inquirer, and now he cannot make it to the celebration because he has to cover a story for the paper. My mentor, Mr. Roddy, also cannot make it this Wednesday because he has an important family matter to attend to. I'm not saying that I'm upset because they can't come, it's just that I am going to feel stupid being the only student without both of her mentors. This whole project is starting to press my buttons and I'm starting to lose hope and enthusiasm in the entire thing. Hopefully I'll be able to start going out to see my sponsor soon, maybe then I'll be able to renew my hope in this project.

28 Years From Now...

Imagine that you are twenty-eight years old, and you're writing to a cherished teacher whom you haven't heard from in ten years. Tell him/her about your professional life. What do you do for a living and how did you get there? Consider the following: What schools did you attend? What special training and degrees do you have? Where do you work and what is the name of your company? What do your coworkers and boss think of you? What professional successes and awards have you enjoyed since graduating from high school.



Dear Mr. Roddy,


Remember me? It's Brionna Scotton from Lindenwold High School. You were my mentor for the Senior Project, and my eleventh grade English teacher. I hope you remember because I remember you and I just wanted to know how you were doing these past 10 years. I, personally, am doing fine, I'm an English teacher just like you at a high school in Japan. I teach them how to read and write in English and try to inspire them to become interested in literature just like I am. It's hard work, but I love it because I'm getting this chance to teach students, in a country that I love, about the joys of writing and reading literature. I'm happy that I've gotten to where I wanted to be in life because I've worked so hard for it. After high school, I attended TCNJ, The College of New Jersey, and majored in English (Language and Literature), then in my junior year, I studied abroad in Japan! I was able to meet other college students, like myself, and observe how they lived and studied for exams and classes. It was a lot of fun and I made many new and exciting friends. I graduated from TCNJ, I received my BA and got accepted into Yale University's Graduate school for English Language and Literature for my Ph.D. To achieve that was hard work because I had to take many courses in two years, teach for two terms, take an oral exam, submit a dissertation prospectus, and finally submit a dissertation.

I first worked at the college as a student-teacher, and I did such a great job that I was recruited to work at a high school as full-time teacher! After one year, I transferred to prestigious high school in Japan because I've worked so hard just so I could be able to teach there. My coworkers and boss love me. I make them laugh by telling funny stories of my childhood, my mother and other family members. They respond by telling me great stories about themselves, and I'm glad that I've made such great friends. I have a really close friend and coworker at my job. Her name is Rie (Ree-ay), and she is similar to my close friends back home. She and I hit it off right after we met on my first day there, she helped me a lot and I really appreciated that. As of right now, she and I both share an apartment here in Tokyo, and we have a lot of fun together, my family met her when I visited home and loved her just as much as I do. I absolutely love teaching these teenagers. They adore me and always like coming to my class to hang out during lunch. I feel as though I'm a role model to them because they come to talk to me about a lot of things that they're going through. I always tell them that I'm not a guidance counselor, yet they still keep coming back. I feel like I'm wanted and appreciated at this school and I like this feeling. Well, I have to get going now, my lunch break is almost up, but when I come back to visit home, I'll make sure to drop by and see you.

Sincerely,
Brionna Scotton

Unrequited...

For the past few weeks, after I had blogged about what I thought about love, I got a reality check. Love is still a special feeling that many people should experience, however, what I had said about it, with the heart pounding and can't speak thing, it could also happen a different way and you're still in love. When falling in love, you could be totally comfortable with that person and be able to speak to them about anything, however, you can't speak to them about you liking them. That's how I am, liking someone I can speak to without stumbling over my words, forgetting how to speak, all those things I previously mentioned, but I just can't speak to him about my feelings for him. I've known him for a long time and I could always speak to him without looking crazy, but that was when I didn't like him as more than a friend. Now, I see him in a different way, I think he's cuter, nicer, sweeter, a totally different boy than before, and he has absolutely no idea that I even feel that way about him! And it really sucks because I want him to know so much, and I'm afraid that if I tell him he won't return the feelings. It's painful to be in love by yourself, and unrequited feelings are not fun for anyone to bear. I just wish that I could muster up my courage to tell him, but I'm not even sure he likes me the way I like him. He could smile at me, hug me, and talk to me, making me feel like I'm the only one he's looking at and make me feel special. But then he could go to the next person the same way, shattering the illusion that's been placed over me. I see him every day, talk to him all the time, laugh with him, chill with him, overall comfortable around him, and to me, it could make my day, but to him, it could be just like hanging with his friends. He just doesn't understand how I feel about him, and I don't know if I could ever tell him.

Blog Visits

Today I found out that a few of my friends like doing things that I would never do. Enrique and Aliccia like the feeling of adrenaline rushing through their veins by doing daring things like Bungee Jumping and Sky Diving. Natalie got into an accident and got a new car afterwards, and Tyana would rather receive Chinese food over a diamond ring. Jamie wants to control her anger by improving herself, which I can relate to because I need to control my own anger issues. I learned a lot of interesting things about them and I'm glad I had a chance to look on their blogs to do so. Blogs are so convenient.

Weekend Grab Bag =]

I believe love is a special feeling. It's the feeling you get when you really care for someone and you want them in your life always. But there are many different kinds of love. There is love for friends, when they're close to you and are apart of the family. You'd stay by their side through thick and thin and vice versa. There is the love for family, when they are most important to you and you'd automatically know that they would support and love you. However, some people don't get that love and support from their family, which is sad because family above everyone else is supposed to stick together. Then there is the love of a lover. That kind of love is the best kind because when you figure out that you love that person, every thing looks a lot better. When falling in love your heart beats faster every time you see that person, your mind thinks only of him/her, your palms sweat, you can never think of anything to say to him/her, you fumble over your words when you finally manage to gather the courage to speak to him/her, sometimes your heart even skips a beat when the person smiles at you or speaks to you. It's an exhilarating and wonderful experience when you fall in love. Falling in love could possibly be the best thing a human being could do. However, falling in love is a sad, cruel experience as well. When you fall for someone so much and you want them to return that love, sometimes they never do. Either they don't like you the same way, they are in love with someone else, or when they do return your feeling, they either move away or die. It's sad when you look at older couples who've been together for over 25 years and then one day, one of them dies. It's painful to have your soulmate die and leave you alone for the rest of your life. That was the same thing with my great-grandmother. My great-granddad died and a month later she died as well. They say that when your soulmate dies, you can't live without them and die soon after. Maybe not for the younger generations, but for the older generations they never really move on. Love is the greatest accomplishment for any human to achieve.

My Reason For Not Doing The Resolution Paper

I have always had trouble creating New Year's Resolutions. I thought that they were pointless because I never keep them, forget about them, or I don't need them because I improve my flaws and imperfections every year. However, my main flaw was procrastination, and though procrastination is one of my strong points, it hurts me when I have a paper due and I haven't started it yet. Today I had an English paper due about making New Year's resolutions and since I never make them, it was hard for me to write about having some while it was easy for everyone else. As a writer, it should have been a piece of cake for me to crank out some phony resolutions that sounds good to please my teacher, Mr. Abrams, however, it seems I caught a bit of writer's block because I couldn't think of any thing to say. When he found out about me not writing a paper, he sat down and talked to me. I admitted to not doing it and I told him it was partly because of procrastinating, but also because I don't make resolutions. He gave me some ideas that I could go off of and tried to help me because if I didn't do anything, I would've gotten a zero on the paper. I am grateful to him because he is a generous teacher that gave me a second chance. If it was a college professor, I would've had a zero automatically, but Mr. Abrams, luckily, isn't a college professor. With his help, I came up with a few, very few, resolutions that could help me throughout the year. Even though I may not be able to keep them going, I can try to for the sake of myself and my grade.

I really don't like admitting this but when Mr. Abrams talked to me about me not doing his work, I felt terrible. I could tell he was disappointed in me because I am a good writer and a good student and I didn't do his work. I hate when I disappoint a teacher, whether I like them or not. When I feel like I disappointed a teacher, I feel as though I disappointed myself, if that makes any sense. That's why I'm writing this blog for Mr. Abrams because if it can make him feel more confident in my abilities as a writer, then I can as well. This is the least I can do for him because after all, he did allow me to redeem myself by doing this and I am appreciative of that.

My Exciting Topic for Senior Project

The course of study that I have chosen for Senior Project is to experience a job related to English. I want to become an English major in college and I would like to experience the different jobs that most English majors branch off into. The main job that I do not want to do is journalism. I do not want to write about events that has happened in urban areas, schools, major highways, or even suburban areas. Journalism isn't that exciting for me, I think it is boring and becoming a reporter or journalist for a newspaper is not my dream job. I want to do something exciting like creative writing. Writing fiction stories is fun for me, and coming up with a new plot for another story is like going on a new adventure, just like Calvin and Hobbes. My imagination runs wild and creating new plots that sound good is easy for me. I know that it is hard to become big with writing, writing novels is a gamble, however, I would still like to pursue a writing career as a side job. Although I want to write, as it is my passion in life, I also want to become an English teacher. I love reading, writing and discussing novels like Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, and J.D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye. I absolutely adore everything about the subject English, and I hope to be able to become a great teacher, or even a writer, so that others can experience the same passion that I have.

How should blogs be graded?

I think that blog entries should be graded just like regular papers, but with a harder assessment of it. On the computer you can do many fancy things to your blog entry that you can't do on regular paper, so I think that the grading should be similar but the blogs should have more categories to be graded on. Blog entries should be about three large paragraphs to me. On paper you could get stuck on what you want to say, I have that problem all the time when I'm writing a paper, so I know from experience. I start a good idea and I know what I want to say, however, when I go to put it on paper, I get stuck. When I'm on the computer typing away, my ideas just flow onto the screen and my papers are better that way. Blogs should include many things like thoughts, feelings, events that someone is doing soon, sections about friends and family, etc. Part scrapbook and part blog journals are somewhat more difficult to grade, to me. I think that the scrapbook part should be graded like a regular paper would, but the blog part of the journal should be graded differently. The blog part should be graded by categories of how it looks, in other words, presentation is key, it should have pictures and videos, and many of the other things you could do on a computer.