Unrequited...

For the past few weeks, after I had blogged about what I thought about love, I got a reality check. Love is still a special feeling that many people should experience, however, what I had said about it, with the heart pounding and can't speak thing, it could also happen a different way and you're still in love. When falling in love, you could be totally comfortable with that person and be able to speak to them about anything, however, you can't speak to them about you liking them. That's how I am, liking someone I can speak to without stumbling over my words, forgetting how to speak, all those things I previously mentioned, but I just can't speak to him about my feelings for him. I've known him for a long time and I could always speak to him without looking crazy, but that was when I didn't like him as more than a friend. Now, I see him in a different way, I think he's cuter, nicer, sweeter, a totally different boy than before, and he has absolutely no idea that I even feel that way about him! And it really sucks because I want him to know so much, and I'm afraid that if I tell him he won't return the feelings. It's painful to be in love by yourself, and unrequited feelings are not fun for anyone to bear. I just wish that I could muster up my courage to tell him, but I'm not even sure he likes me the way I like him. He could smile at me, hug me, and talk to me, making me feel like I'm the only one he's looking at and make me feel special. But then he could go to the next person the same way, shattering the illusion that's been placed over me. I see him every day, talk to him all the time, laugh with him, chill with him, overall comfortable around him, and to me, it could make my day, but to him, it could be just like hanging with his friends. He just doesn't understand how I feel about him, and I don't know if I could ever tell him.